Fast Money ≠ Easy Money

 Originally posted to MySpace, May 18, 2009

 

Who Wants to be a Millionaire? is a popular game show. It has been adapted for TV in many countries, including Germany, where its title—Wer wird Millionär?—translates as “Who Will Become a Millionaire?” There are quite a few other differences worthy of mention. 

American version	German version
Response time is limited	Candidates can take forever
Wildcards are called “lifelines”	Wildcards are called “jokers”
Hostess is stiff and humorless	Host is charming and funny
You can ask an “expert”, who usually turns out to be an idiot	You can phone a friend, some of whom actually help you answer the question
Elimination round selects the person in the chair	Person in the chair selected at random?

 Has America’s fast-food culture always been part of its TV competitions? For as long as I can remember, game show contestants have always been under strict time constraints. Germany’s (mostly) still prevalent attitude of taking your time and doing a good job allows people in the hot seat to spend what seems like hours mulling over and justifying their responses. The lack of pressure from a ticking clock enables the host to drop hints (often not very subtle) to questions that were intended to be no-brainers if the contestant is struggling because he or she is nervous. That can often lead to playful banter between host and contestant, thereby raising the show’s entertainment value considerably. Here in the States, the producers seem to be saying, “Hurry up and prove how stupid you are so we can get someone else in the chair!” More often than not, the contestants do precisely that.

Former U.S. hostess Meredith Vieira has got to have the driest sense of humor I have ever seen. Instead of demonstrating enthusiasm for her job, she gives me the impression that she would rather be at home watching TV herself. Her lifeless personality and apparent lack of empathy with the contestants probably contribute to the contestants’ low winnings. Has anyone ever won the million bucks since she became host? 

One significant difference in the German version is how people actually make it into the contestant’s chair. In Germany, each show begins with 10 people seated on the floor (not in the audience). They are then given a problem to solve, usually putting words in correct order based on certain criteria. The person who gets the correct answer in the least amount of time advances to the hot seat. Over here, every game show has the same method of selection: the contestant is picked in advance by the producers. At least, that’s what you are forced to believe since you have no idea what process of elimination they undergo.

And just who chooses the so-called experts intended to help the contestants when they get in a pinch? I have yet to see an “expert” help a contestant get the answer right. These webcam participants are usually farther off base than the person in the studio. The producers seem to choose people knowledgeable about subjects on which there will be no questions that evening. “Hey, let’s have a physician tonight but not ask a dang thing about biology. That’ll make everyone look totally stupid!” If you ask me, they should give the contestant a choice of experts. If they get a question about, say, physics or astronomy, let ‘em call up Stephen Hawking! That would be “asking the expert”, not this “Our expert tonight has a master’s degree in Hungarian cabinet making. Unfortunately, most of your questions will be about the continent of Africa.”